Burgers for Breakfast

I wake up every morning, a little sad, poorly rested and restless of mind and soul. I search on my phone for news stories and personal updates that might engage me, might draw me out of the grayish mood I constantly find myself in. But it’s not very effective. I end up feeling bored, jealous of my so-called friends’ lives, and maybe slightly amused by some recent scientific breakthrough. If I’m lucky.

What I really want is something truly brilliant to greet me in the morning. Not the ticking of the clock to remind me it’s time to wake up my son. Not the trudging of my husband’s feet as he moves from coffee maker to shower to closet. Not the disobedient, tiny screen that I demand fulfilment from. I’m hungry. God, I’m hungry. I want something big, chunky, challenging, with real texture and flavor. 

Like a burger for breakfast.

I was at a small team-building meal one time, and it was breakfast at a local shop – something we decided to try because it was different. We had a higher likelihood of actually making it if we started our day with a meeting instead of breaking our day’s chaos to try to meet for lunch. And so we did, that once. I was looking at the menu, and everyone was ordering omelets and waffles, but I ordered a burger for breakfast. They all stopped and stared at me as I gave my order. “I thought you were joking,” one of my colleagues said.

No. I’m not.

I don’t joke about this type of thing. I feel unpleasantly drunk daily with useless information, meaningless activity, and self-pity that somehow I can’t shake this feeling of disappointment. Where is the substantive stuff? Where are the worthy content and ideas and conversations?

Well, whatever. I decided today to just write into the oblivion and see what happens.

This isn’t my first attempt to do what I’ve felt born to do. No way, Jose. This is like the fifth. But maybe I’m just bottoming out and in a “fuck it” enough kind of mood to do what I need to do. Write, you bitch. Write for your life.

Ok. But first, I need a burger for breakfast. And some fries, too, please.