It’s about spice, not advice

No, I’m not a “life coach”

As I move into coaching certification, it’s pretty common for people to think they know what I do. But the problem is they’re totally wrong. And it’s kind of not their fault. 

Let’s get the life coaching thing out of the way first. Life coaching has become a catch-all phrase to mean someone who helps others reach their goals. Which is great! However, “life coaches” may be people who have zero training, no ethical standards, and nonexistent certifications. I am not that kind of coach. 

I have chosen to become a coach certified by the International Coaching Federation, subject to evolving standards and continuing education. I help people build a growth-mindset corporate culture, heighten their leadership skills, and/or grow their practice and revenue. As of the writing of this post, I’ve been coaching for a few years and recently completed 100+ hours of accredited coursework. I have mentors in the field of coaching who have been doing this for decades, and they are masters of their craft. This is a skill and calling, and I respect the rigor of the requirements to be a proper coach.

Coaching ≠ critiquing 

Bad managers have used the word “coaching” to mean giving someone negative feedback so that the direct report can suck less. It’s often delivered poorly, with the manager having done little to manage their emotions and prepare their comments. Some managers also provide no practical insight for how their teammate can improve. Sound familiar? Of course it does! But that’s not coaching. That’s critiquing. Coaching does explore client limitations and weaknesses, but that dialog definitely doesn’t boil down to a “you suck, so please suck less” type of statement.

Coaching ≠ advice

As a coach, I don’t tell people what to do. Bosses do that, and I’m not my clients’ boss! If a client asks me a direct question, I share what I know (or don’t know). Either way, the focus is on them and not my own knowledge and experience. The choices are the client’s, and the client’s alone.

Coaching ≠ mentoring and championing

Coaches can play a powerful role in someone’s growth, but we don’t share our own knowledge and experience as a tool to guide someone. Mentors do that, sharing their stories and insights for the benefit of their mentee. Champions are navigators for career development and can open doors for their sponsorees. Coaches don’t necessarily open doors for our clients; we teach them how to find those doors and understand what it means for them to open those doors.

If coaching isn’t any of these things, what IS it?

For me, coaching is about giving the gift of “someone’s best self” back to them. Yeah, it’s pretty cheesy when written out like that. And the cheesiness doesn’t stop there! But the thing is that coaching actually works! People who discover true coaching often say it changed their lives and they seem to have accomplished sustained, genuine change as a result. I can’t say I see that type of result from a lot of other typical leadership resources that are promoted in the workplace. (Unless you know of one that has rocked your world? If so, please message me!) For these and so many other reasons, I believe solidly in coaching as a standard element for leaders to experience and to practice.

Special blend of herbs and spices

If I had to come up with a metaphor, I’d say coaching is kind of like discovering a secret ingredient that makes everything better, like a favorite spice blend. Maybe your recipes were already solid, but with your extra special flavor enhancer crystals, you’ve taken your famous casserole dish to a whole new level. Organic, exotic, heirloom, or new, your unique spiciness can be brought forward to the delight of all. THAT is the type of coaching I do and believe in!